Keeping Systems Running. Hoping for the Best. Bracing for the Worst.

Here at Lone Tower Laboratories, we pride ourselves on cutting-edge research, groundbreaking discoveries, and, most importantly, a mostly functional IT infrastructure. The Information Technology Division is responsible for ensuring that all systems remain operational, secure, and—on particularly good days—completely free of catastrophic anomalies. When the servers are running, the networks are stable, and the security alarms aren’t blaring in that tone, we consider it a success.

Our dedicated team of highly trained (and increasingly paranoid) professionals works tirelessly to maintain Lone Tower’s technological backbone. We oversee cybersecurity, internal networks, and mission-critical software updates—when we remember. If you experience technical difficulties, please assume we are already aware and working on it, unless your issue involves:

• Sudden and unexplained deletion of classified files. (Not our fault. We think.)
• Your workstation displaying information that should not exist. (Ignore it. Shut it down. Walk away.)
• Security cameras looping footage from two days in the future. (We are still investigating this one.)
• Any email originating from "Zone B." (There is no Zone B. Stop asking.)
• The server room door vibrating ominously. (Do NOT open it. We made that mistake once.)

In the unlikely event of a complete system failure, we encourage all employees to follow standard protocol: remain calm, do not engage with anything that appears sentient, and under no circumstances attempt to debug The Core Process. If you are unsure what The Core Process is, congratulations—you are not on the list of people who need to worry about it.

We keep Lone Tower Laboratories connected, operational, and mostly under control. And if something goes wrong? Well, that’s not an IT problem. That’s an Administration problem.